my birthday week
all the little fishies having matching cardigans thanks to Fuji
first three songs from the new U2 album
being a bitch who reprimands people who talk or take pictures during a show in theaters
TSwift still being the cutest and people having unrealistic expectation about popculture
celebrating dearest Ira's birthday in Italy
instead I'm just exhausted most of the time and anxious most of the time and everything is so freaking hard for some reason this year and I don't even feel that I have the right to feel this bad because everything is fine, comparatively. Yep, like this is fine which is probably our most frequently used phrase this year.
And almost but not really unrelated, I hate explaining myself and somehow I keep having to do it. And I hate it and insufficiency of words and pointlessness of trying to break up myself into digestible pieces. If i could only talk about my feeling with a U2 album that would probably work better.
how I did not then know what to call it,
so I called it nothing,
& woke years later,
realizing the mistake.